For Better, for Worse, in Sickness and in Health, and Beyond

August 21, 2019… not a day that occurred to me on August 21,1993 (when it first became a significant date) that would be significant in the future. But fast forward and here we are at our 26th anniversary! 

Those wedding vow promises about forever, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health… sure you agree to it – but in such an abstract way. It’s all very theoretical. You want to be there for your spouse. You want your spouse to be there for you. So you affirm your intention and willingness for all to witness.

Then life happens. Years float, fly, drag… by and there’s lots of those “for better or worse” moments, hopefully tilting decidedly toward the better. The best marriages (among which I count our own) see the two of you growing stronger; your love deepening into something you can’t even imagine from the altar.

And this seemingly magical transformation happens imperceptibly, day by day, as you both change, grow, mature, become more wholly yourselves. Are we the same people we were on our wedding day? Yes. And no. We are the same in the sense that we are still excited by the mere existence of the other, by the love we share and at the prospect of living our days together. No, we’re not the same in the sense that we’ve wizened, experienced and faced things separately – and together – that we couldn’t have known would come our way. We are now those people instead of the less-experienced, more innocent versions of ourselves. 

We are those people as we celebrate August 21 of this year. This has certainly been one of the more challenging of our years together – I dare say the most challenging – but I’m quite thrilled to say that, despite that (and even in some ways because of it), it’s been one of our best. Why? How? You may ask… I contend it’s so because it presented the biggest test of our relationship. And we passed that test with flying colors! We rose to face obstacles, relied upon and clung to one another and navigated our way forward. Scott’s cancer diagnosis, surgery and chemotherapy, instead of breaking us, ultimately inspired us. Even through the fear, fatigue, anxiety, sadness… we persevered. And now we’re stronger. Thanks to our abiding appreciation for and admiration of one another. Thanks to an unparalleled degree of connection and silliness… we did it.

So today we have so much more to celebrate than simply the culmination of hanging in there for 26 years. Today we celebrate our resilience, our ability to cope with adversity and our dedication to making a life together – no matter what shit gets thrown our way.

Here’s hoping that our life calms down a little for a while and we get to enjoy the other side of the coin: the better – at least for a while.

And now for wedding music memories!

We each chose a song to dedicate to one another at our wedding reception. Scott chose And I Love Her by the Beatles for me: 

I chose George Benson’s Love of My Life for him:

I feel like I’d like to dedicate another song to my Scott today. It’s touched me through the years and I’ve even wished that I’d chosen it instead back then. Well, better 26 years late than never. So here’s Songbird, by Fleetwood Mac.

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